Latest Articles And Other Site Updates
This isn't a complete list of all the site's articles, just the ones from the last decade or so. Click here to browse everything I've written on social skills and mental health.
Here are links to some ways you can be notified of updates to the site:
November 18, 2024
Having Naive, Overeager, Excitable Energy Around People
October 28, 2024
Leftover High School Mentalities That Can Hinder Your Social Life And Confidence As An Adult
October 7, 2024
Thoughts On Being Picky When Making Friends
September 16, 2024
Fears Of Acting Rude As You Get More Socially Confident
August 26, 2024
Feeling Like You Have A Fundamentally Unappealing Personality
August 5, 2024
It's Okay To Skip Some Chances To Work On Your Social Skills
July 15, 2024
Some People Just Get Unlucky At Meeting Friends
June 24, 2024
Faux-Nausea From Anxiety Vs. True Nausea
June 3, 2024
When You Have Several Rare Traits And It's Harder To Find Compatible Friends
May 13, 2024
Unrealistic Expectations For How Other People Should Help You With Your Social Issues
April 22, 2024
How To Make Friends When You Don't Like People
Also revised a related older article:
When You Feel Like You Just Don't Like People
April 1, 2024
Thoughts On Seeing Social Relationships As Transactional
March 11, 2024
Things Psychotherapy Clients Can Want That Won't Help Them Long Term
February 19, 2024
When You Feel Like A Mental Health Treatment Or Therapist Is Your Last Hope
January 29, 2024
Insecurities About Meeting New Friends In Dorky, Embarrassing Places
January 8, 2024
When You Don't Know Where You Stand With Someone, Focus On What Concrete Action You Need From Them
December 18, 2023
Ways To Ask For Emotional Support From People Without Draining Them In The Long Run
November 27, 2023
Ways To Cope With Loneliness In The Moment
November 6, 2023
Ways To Feel More Connected To So-So Friends And Acquaintances
October 16, 2023
Ways To Transition From Group To One-On-One Hangouts With A New Friend
September 25, 2023
When You Feel Like Your Boring Past Hinders Your Conversations
September 4, 2023
"I've Been Working On My Social Issues For Several Years And Things Still Haven't Changed"
August 14, 2023
When You Feel Like Giving Up On Trying To Make Friends Or Get Over Your Shyness
July 24, 2023
June 26, 2023
Mildly "Selfish" Things That Are Okay To Do In Conversations
June 5, 2023
How To Get Past A Reputation For Being Weird Or Awkward
May 15, 2023
It's Not Weird If You Have To Get Momentum Going In Some Of Your Conversations Every Time
April 24, 2023
Thoughts On Self-Deprecating Humor
April 3, 2023
March 13, 2023
Good, Possible, And Iffy Reasons To Quit Seeing Your Psychotherapist
Februay 20, 2023
Factors In Whether It's Worth It To Hang Out With So-So Friends When You're Lonely
January 30, 2023
The Misapplied Versions Of Some Valuable Conversation Skills
January 9, 2023
Social Powers You Can Gain From Having A Difficult Childhood
December 19, 2022
Ways To Respond To Getting-To-Know-You Questions You Can't Give A Direct Answer To
November 28, 2022
How To Deal With Someone Who's Bragging
November 7, 2022
Factors That Can Affect How Long Psychotherapy Takes
October 17, 2022
Sometimes Therapy Just Takes A While, Even If You're Doing Everything Right
September 27, 2022
How To Stay Motivated To Improve Your Social Skills And Make Friends
September 5, 2022
August 15, 2022
July 25, 2022
Feeling Impatient About Wanting To Improve Your Social Life
July 4, 2022
When It's Okay Or Not To Say "The Same Thing Happened To Me" In Conversations
June 9, 2022
May 23, 2022
May 2, 2022
Last Resort Ways To Keep A Conversation Going When You Must Talk To Someone
April 11, 2022
Wanting To Constantly Get A "Fresh Start" In Your Social Life
March 22, 2022
Countering And Suppressing Mental Health Symptoms Vs. Truly Fixing The Root Of The Problem
February 28, 2022
Why Some People Regret Trying To Improve Their Social Skills
February 7, 2022
January 24, 2022
General Social Awkwardness And Trouble With Dating Don't Always Go Together
January 10, 2022
The Range Of Results You May Get From Accepting And Rolling With Distressing Thoughts And Emotions
December 27, 2021
The Range Of Results You Can Get From Improving Your Social Skills To Lower Social Anxiety
December 13, 2021
How Consuming Media Can Help And Hinder You Socially
November 29, 2021
Can You Get Traumatized From Panic Attacks And Intense Anxiety?
November 15, 2021
The Range Of Results You May Get From Challenging Your Counterproductive Thoughts And Beliefs
November 8, 2021
The Range Of Results You May Get From Gradually Facing Your Fears With Exposure Therapy
October 28, 2021
Ways To Uncover The Unconscious Motivations That Are Holding You Back
October 13, 2021
When You Feel Hopeless About Improving Your Social Life
September 20, 2021
Is It Pointless And Inefficient To Explore Your Past In Therapy?
August 30, 2021
Why You Should Process The Upsetting Memories That Fuel Your Social Anxiety And Insecurities
How To Emotionally Process The Upsetting Memories That Fuel Your Social Anxiety And Insecurities
August 11, 2021
Cognitive Behavior Therapy Isn't The Be-All And End-All Of Treating Anxiety
July 21, 2021
Getting Into General Self-Improvement Usually Won't Heal Your Core Emotional Baggage
June 22, 2021
Types Of Inappropriate Conversation Topics
June 4, 2021
Not All Conversations Are Like Talking To Guarded Women In Nightclubs
May 12, 2021
When Getting Over Your Social Awkwardness Or Mental Health Struggles Becomes Your Quasi-Hobby
April 22, 2021
Thoughts On The Social Advice To "Give Value", "Don't Take Value", Etc.
March 31, 2021
You Don't Need To Be The Leader Of Your Friend Group To Have A Fulfilling Social Life
March, 18, 2021
It's Not Unusual To Dislike Weekends When You're Lonely Or Have Mental Health Struggles
February 18, 2021
The Misconception That A High-End Social Life Means Going To Lots Of Exclusive Clubs And Parties
January 25, 2021
It's Not Automatically Your Fault If A Social Interaction Goes Poorly
January 6, 2021
Traits That Don't Automatically Make You Boring
December 18, 2020
Catching Up On Your Basic Social Skills Doesn't Always Feel Like An Exciting Goal
December 4, 2020
Do Therapists Psychoanalyze People In Everyday Life?
November 20, 2020
Thoughts On Self-Medicating Anxiety
November 6, 2020
Social Challenges Of Being Good Looking While You're Also Shy And Socially Awkward
October 23, 2020
How Good Looking People Can End Up Shy And Socially Awkward
October 9, 2020
Ways To Playfully Tease People
Septepber 25, 2020
Ways To Playfully Respond To Teasing, Bantering Remarks
September 11, 2020
Ways To Handle Ambiguous Rude Little Jokes And Comments
August 28, 2020
Ways To Figure Out If Someone's Jokes Are Mean Or Good-Natured
August 14, 2020
The Role Of Being In A Favorable Context In Feeling Outgoing And Confident
July 31, 2020
How Not To Put Your Foot In Your Mouth
July 17, 2020
What Are You Supposed To Do When People Sing Happy Birthday To You?
July 3, 2020
Is It Fake To Act Differently Around Different People?
June 19, 2020
Visualization Techniques To Calm Anxiety
June 5, 2020
Handling Feelings Of Frustration And Discouragement As You're Trying To Improve Your Social Skills
May 22, 2020
Learning To Simply Tolerate Your Anxiety
May 8, 2020
A Way To Handle Uncomfortable Cringey Memories Of Your Social Mistakes
April 24, 2020
Talking Too Much And Too Quickly When You're Nervous
April 10, 2020
General Reasons People May Not Give Some Mental Health Or Self-Help Advice A Chance
March 27, 2020
You Don't Need To Obsess Over Your Social Status If You Just Want A Regular, Fulfilling Social Life
March 13, 2020
Giving Up And Checking Out Of Social Interactions
February 28, 2020
How Sensory Processing Differences Can Affect Adults Socially
February 14, 2020
When You Purposely Sabotage Your Social Interactions
January 31, 2020
An Acknowledgement That Loneliness, Social Anxiety, And Other Social Problems Can Be Really Hard
January 17, 2020
Could Therapy For Your Anxiety Make It Worse?
January 3, 2020
Telling People You're Socially Lonely
December 20, 2019
When You Can't Keep Up In A Joking Group Conversation
December 6, 2019
Why An Annoying Person May Be Included In A Group, While You're Not
November 22, 2019
Fears Of Socializing With People Who May Not Like You
November 8, 2019
Misconceptions And Objections About Cognitive Restructuring In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
October 25, 2019
Some Ways The Modern World May Enable Social Anxiety And Awkwardness
Some Ways Modern Society Is Better Than Ever For Socially Anxious, Awkward, Non-mainstream People
October 11, 2019
It's Common To Not Be Able To Recall Details Of Your Life Or Recent Activities Right Away
September 27, 2019
Don't Be Hard On Yourself If Your Social Skills Progress Is Slow And Inconsistent At Times
September 13, 2019
When You Often Zone Out Or Space Out During Conversations
August 30, 2019
Your Social Anxiety And Awkwardness Are Not Your Fault
August 16, 2019
July 29, 2019
When Anxiety Makes You Lose Your Appetite
July 12, 2019
Worries About Stumbling Over Your Words Or Being Inarticulate
June 24, 2019
June 10, 2019
Ways To Get Some Quick Social Contact When You're Feeling Really Lonely And Isolated
May 24, 2019
Signs You Need To Do More To Treat Your Anxiety Even Though You're "Functioning"
May 8, 2019
Don't Boast About Learning Manipulative Social Techniques
April 25, 2019
Types Of Meetup.com Events, Based On Their Social Dynamics
April 16, 2019
Does Meetup.com Work For Making Friends?
March 29, 2019
How To Find A Therapist To Help Your Teenager With Their Social Skills Or Social Anxiety
March 12, 2019
Try Not To Bring An 'Adult Dating' Mentality To Making Friends When You're Older
February 26, 2019
How To Get Feedback On Your Social Skills And How You Come Across
February 13, 2019
When People Don't Ask About You In Conversations
January 31, 2019
Ground-Level Social Skill: Don't Have Poor Hygiene Or Do Gross Things
January 11, 2019
How To Handle Making A Social Mistake
January 2, 2019
Trying To Avoid Feelings Of Discouragement And Disappointment Can Hinder Your Social Development
December 11, 2018
Behaviors That Are Non-Sexually Creepy
November 23, 2018
November 2, 2018
Social Mistake: Unintentionally Insulting People
October 10, 2018
Don't Casually Dismiss Feedback On Your Social Skills
September 19, 2018
Some Unhealthy Friend Group Roles
September 5, 2018
It's Not Automatically Rude To Talk About Yourself
August 24, 2018
"Knowledge Check" Social And Fashion Guidelines
August 7, 2018
When You're Better At Group Conversations Than Talking One-On-One
July 6, 2018
The Idea That Basic Social Skills Are Just "Common Sense"
June 29, 2018
Thoughts On "Be Yourself" As Social Advice
June 12, 2018
Why Friends May Hardly Ever Initiate Contact To Chat
June 5, 2018
The Importance Of Little Common, Standardized Social Exchanges
May 29, 2018
When You Have No Interests Or Hobbies
May 17, 2018
Social Anxiety Safety Behaviors
April 20, 2018
Why Can Your Confidence And Social Skills Fluctuate So Much?
March 29, 2018
Does 'Fake It 'Til You Make It' Work For Improving Your Social Skills And Confidence?
March 22, 2018
How To Make Friends When You're Still Shy
March 15, 2018
March 8, 2018
Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Social Situations
March 2, 2018
Social Thoughts That Are Common, But Which People Can Worry Are Abnormal
February 16, 2018
Some Social Problems That Mainly Affect People When They're Younger
February 6, 2018
The audiobook version of the The Social Skills Guidebook is now available. The length is 9 hours and 23 minutes, and it covers the same material as the paperback and ebook versions. You can get it for US$19.95 on Amazon or Audible.
Here's a link to it on Amazon
January 15, 2018
The audiobook version of the The Social Skills Guidebook is coming out soon. It will be sold on Audible.com / Amazon, and be up in early February. I can't give an exact date because part of the process is out of my hands; once I submit the audio files to the online store, they can vary in how long they take to make the title available for purchase. I'll make another update when it's for sale though.
September 22, 2017
Superficial Stereotypical Dorkiness Vs. True Social Awkwardness
August 28, 2017
What Do People Actually Do At Parties?
August 9, 2017
July 19, 2017
When You Lose Interest In People Quickly
May 16, 2017
When People Aren't Interested In Talking About Your Hobbies
May 4, 2017
I made a major revision to an old article, to the point where it's essentially new. What used to be The Importance Of Getting Your Appearance In Order is now:
How Much Do You Really Need To Improve Your Fashion Sense To Be Socially Successful?
The old article made a quick case for why working on your looks can benefit your social life, then gave some quick general tips on ways to improve your appearance. The new version is more about the question of how important adjusting your look actually is.
April 19, 2017
How To Let Someone Know You're Not Interested In Starting A Friendship With Them
March 29, 2017
Why Potential New Friends May Not Follow Through After Talking About Hanging Out
March 16, 2017
How Not To Get Talked Over Or Ignored In Group Conversations
February 23, 2017
Why People Can Give Vague, Unhelpful Social Advice
February 17, 2017
How To Have The College Experience If You Missed Out On It
January 24, 2017
Telling People You Have Social Anxiety
December 14, 2016
Worries Of People Who Have No Friends
Telling People Or Lying About Having No Friends
How To Make Friends When You Have No Friends
November 25, 2016
Making Conversation With Someone Who Is Only Giving You Short Answers
November 10, 2016
When Everyone Is Talking About A Topic You Can't Contribute To
October 27, 2016
When You Live In An Area Where It's Harder To Make Friends
October 14, 2016
When Your Mind Goes Blank, Or You Can Only Think Slowly, In Social Situations
October 3, 2016
When You Don't Feel Interested In People And What They Have To Say
September 19, 2016
Thoughts On Social Advice That Portrays Basic, Core Skills As Being Advanced
September 3, 2016
Some Beginner Mistakes, Traps, And Misconceptions While Learning Social Skills
July 28, 2016
Ways To Increase Your Chances Of Getting Into True Platonic Friendships With Guys
June 2, 2016
Not All Popular People Are Jerks
May 12, 2016
When You Feel Like You're Too Ugly To Have Friends
Ways To Get Past Insecurities About Your Looks
March 22, 2016
Worries About Being More Outgoing With People You Were Previously Shy Around
February 23, 2016
Big revision to one of the site's earliest articles, which was previously called Mistakes Lonely People Often Make:
Patterns That Can Keep People Stuck In Their Loneliness
February 17, 2016
Is It Worthwhile To Seek A Formal Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis If You Think You Have It?
January 13, 2016
Overcoming Fear Of Blushing / Erythrophobia
September 10, 2015
Having Certain Traits Won't Automatically Lead To A Social Payoff Down The Line
August 3, 2015
The Things That Made The Biggest Difference When I Was First Improving My Own Social Skills
June 16, 2015
How To Have A Social Life Without Alcohol
March 18, 2015
November 21, 2014
A Few Common Questions Socially Awkward People Have A Harder Time Answering
September 1, 2014
Empathy In Social Situations And Not Coming Off As Insensitive
August 14, 2014
When You Always Have To Invite Your Friends Out First
August 4, 2014
An Overview Of Assertiveness Skills
June 6, 2014
June 2, 2014
How To Deal With Negative Judgments About Your Social Issues
May 21, 2014
Going Out Alone To Meet New Friends And Practice Your Social Skills
May 9, 2014
How To Have More Deep, Substantial Conversations
May 1, 2014
Thoughts On Storytelling In Social Situations
April 10, 2014
Dynamics Of Regular Group Conversations
April 1, 2014
Some Common Conversation Mistakes
March 27, 2014
March 13, 2014
Getting Past The First Few Minutes Of One-On-One Conversation
February 25, 2014
Guide To Socializing And Meeting Friends At Meetup.com Events
February 11, 2014
There’s No Single List Of Social Rules And Norms
How To Figure Out Social Rules And Norms On Your Own
February 4, 2014
It’s Never Too Late For You To Have A Successful Social Life
January 22, 2014
Being Socially Awkward Doesn’t Make You A Completely Flawed Person
January 3, 2014
How To Join An Existing Group Of Friends
October 16, 2013
Revised self-esteem articles:
Points To Be Aware Of Before You Try To Build Your Self-Confidence
How To Increase Your Overall Self-Esteem Or Self-Confidence
Increasing Self-Confidence In Particular Social Situations
September 25, 2013
August 20, 2013
It’s Okay To Be Less Social, Be Quiet, Not Like Sports, etc.
June 21, 2013
When People Say You Always Looks Angry/Upset/Worried/etc
June 13, 2013
Interpersonal Issues Gay Men And Lesbians May Have To Deal WithBrowse All The Site's Articles
